My Dream

i woke up today,feeling empty and weird.

I dreamt of a last night.
And it went smt like this.

hui lin me and evon were in a huge hot tub in a's huge huge hse.my entire family even my extended one was there.they were there to see a's parents and stuff.and i and my 2 best mates were in a toilet in a bath tub..
a entertained everyone but never said a word to me and i weirdly could see him from the toilet and he looked pressured like he was hiding smt.but he was really nice to everybody and everyone was having a ball including p,while i was sulking in the toilet with e&h.then it ended.

Why am i thinking so much??wat did that mean??i'm so weird, when he messages me,i give-i couldnt be bothered- answers and when he doesnt i'm like maybe i should have done this or that.but the thing is,i know i dun want a relationship now ten why this?and i dun even have a hint abt how he feels for me..

during the day,i didnt think much abt it and was rather happy.i still have the insecurities but i'm like fuck it,my family is there.

i've got my first real test on the 10th of may.and its on microsoft excel! can someone just fucking shoot me!...nvm there's the 4th to look forward,the day i'll watch my favorite play,phantom of the opera..woopey!!!

To Hui lin: i have nth against indians,i am one so how can i have anything against another.i just think the guy that u like looks very imature not my kind can!and i was shock becoz i never expected u to like indians,u get my drift??

To P:i know u'll prob think i'll never understand your situation and i wont say i do for the sake of making u feel better either.but i do,or rather i did,last year.when i went thru u noe wat and had to seek mama's help.i was going thru that same feeling.i'll be there for u now p,and dun worry,dun think you'll never get out of it coz u will.pray p,pray.its the first step.