my sms conver with a.
me:"...so got miss me anot.so long never meet.."
**this was at 11 plus in the night just be4 my movie started,so i was abit high,and i was missing him alot.but just after pressing the send button,i regretted it and wanted to kick myself for being so stupidly brave,wtf did i do that,why did i make myself sound so bloody cheap..i waited for abt 3-4 hrs,dying,thinking of the worst possible replies but most importantly,why wasnt he replying??!!!**
Him:"um...more or less .u?"
**wtf was that suppose to mean??feeling absoultly pissed and happy at the same time i replied with this.**
me:"psycho ah!!! i miss u??in your dreams lah!why u still awake?"
**couldnt i have thrown the "i miss u like hell"message across his face anymore clearer!**
then we just moved away from that topic..
its 4.40am,sunday morning now.and i just finished toking to him on the phone.i gurantee that as a friend,i can always trust him and depend on him for anything and i am very sure that he will always be there for me,but anything more i'm not sure..
plus he was telling me abt this girl that he thinks likes him and i was pushing him to go for her..wat is wrong with me man,like realli,i was pushing him..but i seriously dunno how to react otherwise,wat am i supose to say??ask him to ask her to eat shit?i'm only good at toking but not pushing for things for myself.
i'm sleeping now.toking in circles and i want to watch 200 pounds beauty so good nite.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
My Dream
i woke up today,feeling empty and weird.
I dreamt of a last night.
And it went smt like this.
hui lin me and evon were in a huge hot tub in a's huge huge hse.my entire family even my extended one was there.they were there to see a's parents and stuff.and i and my 2 best mates were in a toilet in a bath tub..
a entertained everyone but never said a word to me and i weirdly could see him from the toilet and he looked pressured like he was hiding smt.but he was really nice to everybody and everyone was having a ball including p,while i was sulking in the toilet with e&h.then it ended.
Why am i thinking so much??wat did that mean??i'm so weird, when he messages me,i give-i couldnt be bothered- answers and when he doesnt i'm like maybe i should have done this or that.but the thing is,i know i dun want a relationship now ten why this?and i dun even have a hint abt how he feels for me..
during the day,i didnt think much abt it and was rather happy.i still have the insecurities but i'm like fuck it,my family is there.
i've got my first real test on the 10th of may.and its on microsoft excel! can someone just fucking shoot me!...nvm there's the 4th to look forward,the day i'll watch my favorite play,phantom of the opera..woopey!!!
To Hui lin: i have nth against indians,i am one so how can i have anything against another.i just think the guy that u like looks very imature not my kind can!and i was shock becoz i never expected u to like indians,u get my drift??
To P:i know u'll prob think i'll never understand your situation and i wont say i do for the sake of making u feel better either.but i do,or rather i did,last year.when i went thru u noe wat and had to seek mama's help.i was going thru that same feeling.i'll be there for u now p,and dun worry,dun think you'll never get out of it coz u will.pray p,pray.its the first step.
I dreamt of a last night.
And it went smt like this.
hui lin me and evon were in a huge hot tub in a's huge huge hse.my entire family even my extended one was there.they were there to see a's parents and stuff.and i and my 2 best mates were in a toilet in a bath tub..
a entertained everyone but never said a word to me and i weirdly could see him from the toilet and he looked pressured like he was hiding smt.but he was really nice to everybody and everyone was having a ball including p,while i was sulking in the toilet with e&h.then it ended.
Why am i thinking so much??wat did that mean??i'm so weird, when he messages me,i give-i couldnt be bothered- answers and when he doesnt i'm like maybe i should have done this or that.but the thing is,i know i dun want a relationship now ten why this?and i dun even have a hint abt how he feels for me..
during the day,i didnt think much abt it and was rather happy.i still have the insecurities but i'm like fuck it,my family is there.
i've got my first real test on the 10th of may.and its on microsoft excel! can someone just fucking shoot me!...nvm there's the 4th to look forward,the day i'll watch my favorite play,phantom of the opera..woopey!!!
To Hui lin: i have nth against indians,i am one so how can i have anything against another.i just think the guy that u like looks very imature not my kind can!and i was shock becoz i never expected u to like indians,u get my drift??
To P:i know u'll prob think i'll never understand your situation and i wont say i do for the sake of making u feel better either.but i do,or rather i did,last year.when i went thru u noe wat and had to seek mama's help.i was going thru that same feeling.i'll be there for u now p,and dun worry,dun think you'll never get out of it coz u will.pray p,pray.its the first step.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
25/4/07..26-4/07
its wednesday.and i love wednesday coz its mean i start school t 10.30 and end at 2!woopey!(its gonna be a long post, do bare with me)
i had so much fun at theatre(watever Lindo)yest.i think it'll be one of the best ccas i ever had.the ppl there are so welcoming,friendly,nice,really cool and open and its like i found my place,my heart felt so at peace there.
however i dunno wat hui lin sees in the guys there.didnt see anyone looking good,all were so friendly that i was more taken in by their hearts then their looks.oh and also becoz my feet was soooooo dirty,i was more preoccupied trying to hide them ten doing anything else.hahaha.but seriously i hope every week will be as fun or better,more fun ten yest; impossible.
ok coming back to today,my class starts at 10.30,i reached at 11.the class wasnt so important so okay lah.when i entered the room,my lect was like "sam,why so late?" my ans..."*smiles**flush flush* hehehe..(in my softest voice)i overslept" then i almost ran to my seat.hahahaha and my entire class witnessed this,dam shyyo can!!i only had my half hr of lesson left so thank god!
then we went off to eat,dunno why,in school i've very small apetide,so i ate fries and was done.ten next class was at 12 and its was financial accounting,one of my favorites,cause it deals with money and maths and it makes u think like a business person,very nice.ten i ended early at 1.30.
so a bunch of us decided to go to moberly,its this place where u can play pool,slack at their cafe,sing at the karaok place,play at their lan room,have bbqs.its basicaly very popular among the spians.We wanted to play pool, ten head to the cafe,but when we reached the pool room we were told that the whole place was taken up for the trials for the pool cca,so we decided to head to the cafe straight.
We actually have this thing all of SMA and Business school's first year students are suppose to attend,at 4.30! but smt told me that it'll be a waste of time and i wanted to enjoy my early day off,so i left at 2.(the thing indeed was a waste of time)
I was initially suppose to go for my medical report ten meet hui lin to go collect our certs but my dear P asked me out for lunch and i cant say no.I hate that abt me,i can never say no to my love ones(which are few,,but still!!),i hate it becoz i'm so afraid that i'll in the end be very hurt when they dun do the same back to me.i guess i have to stop expecting,the less i expect the less i feel,the less i'll hurt.yap,i shall do tat.
so P and i decided to meet at vivo,since i was there first,i went to sit at the green seats outside marks n spencer.As i was seating and enjoying my peach tea and looking at the ppl ard me...my eyes caught smt,at the oposite seat, there was this ah pek kind of guy happily digging his nose!!!!okay he wasnt all smiling and all,but the way he digged like he couldnt give a fucking dam abt the world,made me wanna laugh my butt off and puke at the same time! okay let me try my best to describe it.
1)he put two fingers of his in one nostril(yes the dam holes were huge,maybe due to numerous diggings)
2)find some boogey that's stuck
3)with the 2 fingers in the nostril, pull the boogey out with lots of force like pulling out stabler bullet from paper.
4)had a nice look at it
5)finally throwong it at the place beside him(i can almost swore that i saw a slight smirk)
i was at vivo!!and i got alittle worried abt my seat so i said alittle prayer and quickly messaged P to hurry her ass her so i could show her the guilty digger.but she missed it.
we decided to head to our personal favortie,the hongkong cafe.ate some curry thing which was new but dam awesome!!Next we went to Ben N jerry's,been craving for awhile.then it was shopping time!!,i have never used shopping as a cure for my heart ache or escape from any problems,coz it never worked,but when i went shopping with p,i realised at the end of it ten i didnt think abt my problems at all and had loads n loads of fun.
Me:rambling non-stop like a machine
P:just noddin with the occasionally opening of mouth.
But overall had tons of fun.thanks to P.
ok firstly we went to(shit i forget the name!!),didnt buy anything from there and we spent like wat,almost an 1hr in there(okay im exagerating)ten we went to Pull and Bear and spent an even longer time there,going in and out of the changing room coz they have a really stupid policy of "NO 2 PPL IN A CUBICLE"how fucking stupid is that??what he hell do they think i'm going to do?rape my own P or wat?? i realli dun see the logic.In the end i bought 2 tops and so did p,the best part is,she gave me her tops to bring home!!woopey!so i've got 4 tops thou only temporary but still!!.
ps.i'm sorry p,the tops didnt work for u,maybe its just me.but this doesnt mean that our bet made in sunway is over!
ten i quickly rushed hme.and was actualy typing this half way,when mimi asked me to go Giant with her.so its 1am of26/4/07 now,n i'm typing this and am dead tired.
oh and yes,a and i are drifting apart,i guess i'm partly to be blamed becoz i was expecting this and when u expect smt,your actions will sort of make it happen.happy now hui lin?? haha.i'm not sad or anything, like i've said less feeling,less hurt..
i had so much fun at theatre(watever Lindo)yest.i think it'll be one of the best ccas i ever had.the ppl there are so welcoming,friendly,nice,really cool and open and its like i found my place,my heart felt so at peace there.
however i dunno wat hui lin sees in the guys there.didnt see anyone looking good,all were so friendly that i was more taken in by their hearts then their looks.oh and also becoz my feet was soooooo dirty,i was more preoccupied trying to hide them ten doing anything else.hahaha.but seriously i hope every week will be as fun or better,more fun ten yest; impossible.
ok coming back to today,my class starts at 10.30,i reached at 11.the class wasnt so important so okay lah.when i entered the room,my lect was like "sam,why so late?" my ans..."*smiles**flush flush* hehehe..(in my softest voice)i overslept" then i almost ran to my seat.hahahaha and my entire class witnessed this,dam shyyo can!!i only had my half hr of lesson left so thank god!
then we went off to eat,dunno why,in school i've very small apetide,so i ate fries and was done.ten next class was at 12 and its was financial accounting,one of my favorites,cause it deals with money and maths and it makes u think like a business person,very nice.ten i ended early at 1.30.
so a bunch of us decided to go to moberly,its this place where u can play pool,slack at their cafe,sing at the karaok place,play at their lan room,have bbqs.its basicaly very popular among the spians.We wanted to play pool, ten head to the cafe,but when we reached the pool room we were told that the whole place was taken up for the trials for the pool cca,so we decided to head to the cafe straight.
We actually have this thing all of SMA and Business school's first year students are suppose to attend,at 4.30! but smt told me that it'll be a waste of time and i wanted to enjoy my early day off,so i left at 2.(the thing indeed was a waste of time)
I was initially suppose to go for my medical report ten meet hui lin to go collect our certs but my dear P asked me out for lunch and i cant say no.I hate that abt me,i can never say no to my love ones(which are few,,but still!!),i hate it becoz i'm so afraid that i'll in the end be very hurt when they dun do the same back to me.i guess i have to stop expecting,the less i expect the less i feel,the less i'll hurt.yap,i shall do tat.
so P and i decided to meet at vivo,since i was there first,i went to sit at the green seats outside marks n spencer.As i was seating and enjoying my peach tea and looking at the ppl ard me...my eyes caught smt,at the oposite seat, there was this ah pek kind of guy happily digging his nose!!!!okay he wasnt all smiling and all,but the way he digged like he couldnt give a fucking dam abt the world,made me wanna laugh my butt off and puke at the same time! okay let me try my best to describe it.
1)he put two fingers of his in one nostril(yes the dam holes were huge,maybe due to numerous diggings)
2)find some boogey that's stuck
3)with the 2 fingers in the nostril, pull the boogey out with lots of force like pulling out stabler bullet from paper.
4)had a nice look at it
5)finally throwong it at the place beside him(i can almost swore that i saw a slight smirk)
i was at vivo!!and i got alittle worried abt my seat so i said alittle prayer and quickly messaged P to hurry her ass her so i could show her the guilty digger.but she missed it.
we decided to head to our personal favortie,the hongkong cafe.ate some curry thing which was new but dam awesome!!Next we went to Ben N jerry's,been craving for awhile.then it was shopping time!!,i have never used shopping as a cure for my heart ache or escape from any problems,coz it never worked,but when i went shopping with p,i realised at the end of it ten i didnt think abt my problems at all and had loads n loads of fun.
Me:rambling non-stop like a machine
P:just noddin with the occasionally opening of mouth.
But overall had tons of fun.thanks to P.
ok firstly we went to(shit i forget the name!!),didnt buy anything from there and we spent like wat,almost an 1hr in there(okay im exagerating)ten we went to Pull and Bear and spent an even longer time there,going in and out of the changing room coz they have a really stupid policy of "NO 2 PPL IN A CUBICLE"how fucking stupid is that??what he hell do they think i'm going to do?rape my own P or wat?? i realli dun see the logic.In the end i bought 2 tops and so did p,the best part is,she gave me her tops to bring home!!woopey!so i've got 4 tops thou only temporary but still!!.
ps.i'm sorry p,the tops didnt work for u,maybe its just me.but this doesnt mean that our bet made in sunway is over!
ten i quickly rushed hme.and was actualy typing this half way,when mimi asked me to go Giant with her.so its 1am of26/4/07 now,n i'm typing this and am dead tired.
oh and yes,a and i are drifting apart,i guess i'm partly to be blamed becoz i was expecting this and when u expect smt,your actions will sort of make it happen.happy now hui lin?? haha.i'm not sad or anything, like i've said less feeling,less hurt..
Sunday, April 22, 2007
ah!! i have so much to say that i dont want to say anything.i'm such a lazy bitch.ok heres a little smt.school's alrite,was tough but i'm hanging the hang of things.Friends are ok.Home's a mess.Family's fine.Best mates are rocky.ok lah tats it i'm bored
ps.anyone who compares poly life with jc life will be screwed by me.i did warn.
ps.anyone who compares poly life with jc life will be screwed by me.i did warn.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I've been postponing my entry for a while because i have so much to say that typing them down,seems scary!.
yesterday was my school's orientation and i had to be in school by 8,woke up at 6 and nearly died,met hui lin at 7 plus plus and had breakfast,reached school only at 8.45.My director was already inside and so i couldnt enter,after hanging ard like a loser outside with the rest of the latecomers,they allowed us entry but we had to sit on the floor behind all the chairs in the oh-so-huge auditorium.sian.i couldnt see anything at the front and got really bored.was taking to some guys beside me when this girl beside me starting talking to me.From her accent it was pretty obvious she came from china,and we became friends.(she has become my closest friend in my school,so far by the way)We hit it off from the start,she is fucking hilarious and she stays at tampines and went to coral sec,wat a coincidence..During the break,we were just eating and taking, with many of my fellow campers coming up to ask how i was doing which was nice,when a bunch of girls came by our table and asked(btw,my friend's name is jasmine) jasmine if she was of china origins.And so i made a whole other bunch of China friends.They were really nice and took real good care of me especailly jasmine and i felt so at home.
and so the day went by with me trying to understand them and vise versa.
Initially,we were only told that we only had to come school on monday for this week but in the end,i had to come back again today,to learn how to use my laptop,which was completely wasted coz i cant get access to my school's wireless from my laptop because of some shitass reason..but thank god it was only for abt 2hr plus.
ten i met P at her school,ate the very famous chocolate waffle,tat was awesome awesme awesome.Then after slacking for a while, we decided to head to vivocity to makan and asked J along.i must say i had a blast,it was uber fun and i love vivocity,its my new favourite hangout place,i noe i'm so out but watever.i love the chocolate factory and love love love the candy empire!!! i want jellly beans!!!We had the, sort of foodcourt food,its not the kopitiam its the other one.and had ben and jerry's which was awesome,to burn off the food,we played at the playground,which was btw fucking fun and funny!!! i nearly sent P flying off the swing thingi.hahahahahaha.those two were great fun lah.babes we need to do this more often okay.
My status with A is weird,i realised this only after P brought my attention to it.
She went like this,"eh dont u think its werid that you and A talk everyday and you guys are not in a relationship,you dont even do this with your friends"i was speechless.
When we talk there is nth romantic or watever,its just friend to friend,very normal.and even if we do not talk everyday,we'll message.
The thing i dont understand is why is he still with me? as in talking to me and messing me??HE firstly is ready in a jc,which means he's surrounded with girls which was diff in the past,and he has a shit load of friends from all walks of life.Next,he has experienced much more in life ten i have.and he is very very different from me.So much so that one of the main reasons i decided to go for my orientation camp was to have one thing in common with him,which was the experience of camping which he does very freqently.
Why is he still with me?there is nth specail abt me,i'm not the most funnest person,i'm not the funniest person,im not the preetiest,i'm just normal me,compared to him,with all his friends and his adventurous life,i look bland.we are so fucking diff and have absolutely nth in common(i have tried finding)and yet he's with me.
why??i feel like asking but cant seem to be able to bring myself to..how?hai.
yesterday was my school's orientation and i had to be in school by 8,woke up at 6 and nearly died,met hui lin at 7 plus plus and had breakfast,reached school only at 8.45.My director was already inside and so i couldnt enter,after hanging ard like a loser outside with the rest of the latecomers,they allowed us entry but we had to sit on the floor behind all the chairs in the oh-so-huge auditorium.sian.i couldnt see anything at the front and got really bored.was taking to some guys beside me when this girl beside me starting talking to me.From her accent it was pretty obvious she came from china,and we became friends.(she has become my closest friend in my school,so far by the way)We hit it off from the start,she is fucking hilarious and she stays at tampines and went to coral sec,wat a coincidence..During the break,we were just eating and taking, with many of my fellow campers coming up to ask how i was doing which was nice,when a bunch of girls came by our table and asked(btw,my friend's name is jasmine) jasmine if she was of china origins.And so i made a whole other bunch of China friends.They were really nice and took real good care of me especailly jasmine and i felt so at home.
and so the day went by with me trying to understand them and vise versa.
Initially,we were only told that we only had to come school on monday for this week but in the end,i had to come back again today,to learn how to use my laptop,which was completely wasted coz i cant get access to my school's wireless from my laptop because of some shitass reason..but thank god it was only for abt 2hr plus.
ten i met P at her school,ate the very famous chocolate waffle,tat was awesome awesme awesome.Then after slacking for a while, we decided to head to vivocity to makan and asked J along.i must say i had a blast,it was uber fun and i love vivocity,its my new favourite hangout place,i noe i'm so out but watever.i love the chocolate factory and love love love the candy empire!!! i want jellly beans!!!We had the, sort of foodcourt food,its not the kopitiam its the other one.and had ben and jerry's which was awesome,to burn off the food,we played at the playground,which was btw fucking fun and funny!!! i nearly sent P flying off the swing thingi.hahahahahaha.those two were great fun lah.babes we need to do this more often okay.
My status with A is weird,i realised this only after P brought my attention to it.
She went like this,"eh dont u think its werid that you and A talk everyday and you guys are not in a relationship,you dont even do this with your friends"i was speechless.
When we talk there is nth romantic or watever,its just friend to friend,very normal.and even if we do not talk everyday,we'll message.
The thing i dont understand is why is he still with me? as in talking to me and messing me??HE firstly is ready in a jc,which means he's surrounded with girls which was diff in the past,and he has a shit load of friends from all walks of life.Next,he has experienced much more in life ten i have.and he is very very different from me.So much so that one of the main reasons i decided to go for my orientation camp was to have one thing in common with him,which was the experience of camping which he does very freqently.
Why is he still with me?there is nth specail abt me,i'm not the most funnest person,i'm not the funniest person,im not the preetiest,i'm just normal me,compared to him,with all his friends and his adventurous life,i look bland.we are so fucking diff and have absolutely nth in common(i have tried finding)and yet he's with me.
why??i feel like asking but cant seem to be able to bring myself to..how?hai.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
The Hostel
my first night at NUS.
When i was leaving my home,i took a moment to look back at my room, and i knew from then on that i wont be spending so much time in it and i'm gonna miss it alot.i'll miss having my own room,my own space and my own bed.But sacrifices have to be made and i'll get use to it.
The room is extremely small,smaller then my room of cause,but its cozy and the best part is its not home,i know i'm contridicting myself but those who know me will understand my condition.Its nice overall.And theres a cafe,minimart all downstairs,best of all>a 24 hrs roti prata shop nearby! my heaven.haha.
Went to meet P's friends and saw their rooms,loved kutu's room,with aircon,toilet and gorgeous flooring,love it lah.honestly spaeking,compared to it,i frankly think the one i'm staying in looks like a storeroom,but nvm i'll make it nicer,i still love so watever.
Neway it was my first time meeting kutu and the first thing she said to me was.."hey! so you're the emo sister!"what i did next was to send dagger stares at P and then turn back to her smile.
although i've heard so much abt her, i was still pleasantly surprised by how down-to-earth she is and how easy it was to talk to her.A truly pleasant and charming lady.
Just came back from washing up for the night at the main toilet,its not bad, quite clean.hopefully,no one tries to fight for the toilet with me in the morning.
its oreadi 4 and i'm suppose to wake up at 8..fuck.i wont be looking anyway near good tml.but who cares..
Last but not least i want to wish P and myself a very good,peaceful,fun,awesome and totally cool stay here.And P i love uuu!!!
Ps:lindo,come and stay with us alrite??ask your mum and get back to me and we'll have slumber parties all the time! haha.i love u honey,see u soon!
When i was leaving my home,i took a moment to look back at my room, and i knew from then on that i wont be spending so much time in it and i'm gonna miss it alot.i'll miss having my own room,my own space and my own bed.But sacrifices have to be made and i'll get use to it.
The room is extremely small,smaller then my room of cause,but its cozy and the best part is its not home,i know i'm contridicting myself but those who know me will understand my condition.Its nice overall.And theres a cafe,minimart all downstairs,best of all>a 24 hrs roti prata shop nearby! my heaven.haha.
Went to meet P's friends and saw their rooms,loved kutu's room,with aircon,toilet and gorgeous flooring,love it lah.honestly spaeking,compared to it,i frankly think the one i'm staying in looks like a storeroom,but nvm i'll make it nicer,i still love so watever.
Neway it was my first time meeting kutu and the first thing she said to me was.."hey! so you're the emo sister!"what i did next was to send dagger stares at P and then turn back to her smile.
although i've heard so much abt her, i was still pleasantly surprised by how down-to-earth she is and how easy it was to talk to her.A truly pleasant and charming lady.
Just came back from washing up for the night at the main toilet,its not bad, quite clean.hopefully,no one tries to fight for the toilet with me in the morning.
its oreadi 4 and i'm suppose to wake up at 8..fuck.i wont be looking anyway near good tml.but who cares..
Last but not least i want to wish P and myself a very good,peaceful,fun,awesome and totally cool stay here.And P i love uuu!!!
Ps:lindo,come and stay with us alrite??ask your mum and get back to me and we'll have slumber parties all the time! haha.i love u honey,see u soon!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Ppl
Being at home makes me depressed and angry.dont know wats wrong with me.
However i love being with P at ma hse.feel so wonderfully free,refreshed,independant and seriously happy!The best pat is that i have regained my love for kids over the past few day after spending so much time with taneisha,i like kids as long as they they are not able to speak yet.After that it gets difficult because u have to explain everything..haha .bitch.
Went shopping with hui lin once again.i love that girl,she makes me feel so light hearted care-free and responsible,because shes so small i always feel the want/need to protect my darling.
Over this past holidays,i have realised that i have grown closer to some ppl and have gone apart from others.one person i've grown closer is hui lin.I have to admit smt,when i was still schooling in prcs,i was not really close to hui lin and i totally underastimated her and i now feel that i have judged her alot and judged wrongly that is.However i thank God that i had this chance to actually know her for who she is.
And my darling, had intended to say so much abt you,but the words arnt coming out..What i shall say is that during this past few months i have seen a whole differant side of u i have never seen be4 and never thot u were capable of.i have become attached to u and thank for not making my holidays not as boring as it was initially(during the time u were working).i love u honey!
For those i have grown apart from,i have nth to say,,maybe it was my fault maybe it was yours,no one's to be blames only fate knows wats install for us.But what i must say is this:when my school starts,ten i wont be the one asking to go anymore and wont be the one getting rejected,it'll be you,because i planned to be very busy.i'm not being revengeful but the truth is such.
On to other things,i'll be staying at P's hostel at clementi tml because of my camp on thur,it'll be easier for me.so i'll be missing from paris for the next few days.
i'm anxious for my camp,A says that he'll be there for anything,and P is just nearby and my darling has already given her support but i'm still anxious you know..it'll be my first camp alone.first camp this long.first camp where i know only myself.
God,
do help me.
However i love being with P at ma hse.feel so wonderfully free,refreshed,independant and seriously happy!The best pat is that i have regained my love for kids over the past few day after spending so much time with taneisha,i like kids as long as they they are not able to speak yet.After that it gets difficult because u have to explain everything..haha .bitch.
Went shopping with hui lin once again.i love that girl,she makes me feel so light hearted care-free and responsible,because shes so small i always feel the want/need to protect my darling.
Over this past holidays,i have realised that i have grown closer to some ppl and have gone apart from others.one person i've grown closer is hui lin.I have to admit smt,when i was still schooling in prcs,i was not really close to hui lin and i totally underastimated her and i now feel that i have judged her alot and judged wrongly that is.However i thank God that i had this chance to actually know her for who she is.
And my darling, had intended to say so much abt you,but the words arnt coming out..What i shall say is that during this past few months i have seen a whole differant side of u i have never seen be4 and never thot u were capable of.i have become attached to u and thank for not making my holidays not as boring as it was initially(during the time u were working).i love u honey!
For those i have grown apart from,i have nth to say,,maybe it was my fault maybe it was yours,no one's to be blames only fate knows wats install for us.But what i must say is this:when my school starts,ten i wont be the one asking to go anymore and wont be the one getting rejected,it'll be you,because i planned to be very busy.i'm not being revengeful but the truth is such.
On to other things,i'll be staying at P's hostel at clementi tml because of my camp on thur,it'll be easier for me.so i'll be missing from paris for the next few days.
i'm anxious for my camp,A says that he'll be there for anything,and P is just nearby and my darling has already given her support but i'm still anxious you know..it'll be my first camp alone.first camp this long.first camp where i know only myself.
God,
do help me.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
The Day
today was a super chill out day.
taught D chinese in the afternoon which i absolutely hate coz i noe i'm not teaching the right thing at times...yah yah,i noe..
in the night,or rather early early morning,at ard 1am,P and me went to her friend's chalet.which was uber funny.thou there were times of awkwardness,there was also times of absolute fun.the thing i liked most was the fact tat we were treated really well,like ladies. eg.we were fetched and sent back.i noe it sounds ridiculous but they cared enough to not want us going back home alone at 5 am.like how i would expect from a guy my age.But the thing i didn't like was that this 2 guys decided to sent us back home to our door step..what can i say man..guys..
sometimes.i really envy p a whole lot.i envy the fact that she can carry a conversation with an absolute stranger,okay not carry but actually start and continue toking..when it comes to me,my mind goes blank..it seems like this kind of stuff happens only when i'm with her coz i depend on her so much!!
i need a change,change of environment and ppl!how>>
taught D chinese in the afternoon which i absolutely hate coz i noe i'm not teaching the right thing at times...yah yah,i noe..
in the night,or rather early early morning,at ard 1am,P and me went to her friend's chalet.which was uber funny.thou there were times of awkwardness,there was also times of absolute fun.the thing i liked most was the fact tat we were treated really well,like ladies. eg.we were fetched and sent back.i noe it sounds ridiculous but they cared enough to not want us going back home alone at 5 am.like how i would expect from a guy my age.But the thing i didn't like was that this 2 guys decided to sent us back home to our door step..what can i say man..guys..
sometimes.i really envy p a whole lot.i envy the fact that she can carry a conversation with an absolute stranger,okay not carry but actually start and continue toking..when it comes to me,my mind goes blank..it seems like this kind of stuff happens only when i'm with her coz i depend on her so much!!
i need a change,change of environment and ppl!how>>
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