HIM again..

I've been coming home almost aft 11 everyday,and sleeping onli aft 1 ten getting up realli early and the cycle continues.
but here i am blogging,coz if i dun,my mind will burst with thots like wat happened to jing mei's mum(forgot her name) from JLC.

I've been thinking abt A,i mean he's always at the back of my mind,but these few days,it has intensified..

i think abt him whenever,i have nth to do,like when i'm not busy,or when i see ppl,in Jc uni,or ppl who're training.my heart just melts!!FUCK lah,i sound so pathetic dam it!!! i'm not like this lah!!!

I miss him so very much!!!and the worst part is,he's not coming tml.my SMS conver with him went like this:

Z:so how u coming on fri?
A:evon they all going?(if they're not means u not coming lah??ASSHOLE)
Z:yah should be lah,go with them.
A:um..ok lor
Z:but hey if u dun want to come,ten its alrite u noe..
A:ok ten nvm lah
Z:ok...(heart broken)
**its not word for word but it went smt like that...

dam it dam it!!! i'm so hooked on him!! and he's not even my type!! and he doesnt even have the nicest teeth(prob the worst)so WHY?!!!and and,i dun noe if he feels the same for me!!!

i think abt how it would be like to kiss him which is fucking insane!!!!(considering his teeth and all)hahaha,but for me to even think abt such a stuff is like thinking abt...Lewis hooking up with Hui lin...IMPOSSIBLE!

Neway i'm sad abt the fact that i'll not be seeing him tml,even if i noe i'll be looking like shit,i just wanted to see him..and i'm also upset with the fact that i like him so much...and doubt highly that he likes me back the same...FUCK!

P:oi,you're so pathetic
Z:i noe!!!but arnt we all??
**arnt we??!!!

neway i feel like shit,and am VERY tired,so gd nite ppl,and pray for me for tml,that i wont fall flat on my face,on stage in front of the whole of west coast park...NITE!