The horrible week

Ive been sick for over 3 days.from monday till wednesday and still am alittle now.My bones ached so bad,even while seating in the car and going over a bump,i would cringed in pain..The doc told me not to take my med for fever today and if my fever still doesnt go dwn i'll have to go to the hos to get a blood test coz i may have dengy..but i feel alot better today.thanks everyone,for your well-wishers.and thanks BB for all your prayers.
i missed so much while i was sick,its was like as if i was in another world,all i did everyday slp and the onli times i woke up was when my phone vibrated beside me or when my mum woke me up to take my med,i hardly ate anything and i constantly felt like shit..
my sickness coulnt have come at a better time..

• my exam is next week and i will onli be able to attend one day of this so called revision week..
• yest was the Juggy D bhangra nite and is said to be one of the most happening ones the entire year and was what i have been waiting for so dam long and didnt get to go..FUCK!
• evon for one of the very rare occasions asked me out and the others too and i couldnt go..
• D,asked me for a movie and i couldnt even get out of bed..
• I,asked me to meet her at ma hse, cos she wanted to discuss smt important wif me..and of coz i didnt go..
• my cousin had like a tour in sp for one whole day and i wasnt in sch to see him..

It sucks alot that when i was alrite or when its now,that i'm alrite nth like this happen,why??!! why is it so sucking unfair....
nvm lah i cant change the past..leave for tml the future not for yesterday,the past..
oh well..
i feel i have grown,in the past when i didnt go school i'd feel like i missed alot of the happenings in class,or i'd be left behind,not with studies but among my friends.but now,i just dont care anymore.i dun care if i have friends anot,i dun care if i get left behind or not..becoz i noe there are two groups of ppl, that i dun have to put up a pretence with or have to fear that they'll leave me behind,one is my honeys and the other is family.and i'm extremely satisfied and blessed to have them with me.

not gonna tok abt it..

i feel like dying,crying or better hiding my body in mud.smt came over me,took over my emotions,must be the lack of slp.i regret it so much that when i think back at it i feel like vomiting,i got my answer..i need to move on.i need to push myself like how i've always have.
i wont be getting attached or looking at guys for a while,i just want to...i'm not too sure either..i want to just seat back and watch guys ask girls for their no.watch girls get excited when a hot guy walks pass.watch how couples look at each other.
i feel like crap,and p's not going india with me tml either making me feel worse.god tats it!!

NO MORE A!!!

its dangerous to sms A in the tain,everytime i read his message there'll be this huge looney smile on my face and i feel all dumb so i quickly hide it and i can feel like my face getting hot.its so EMBARRASSING!!

shit i'm toking abt him again!

Malaysia trip!

can i just start of by saying that i do NOT love a.its not like that.
ok i'll make a promise to myself here alrite,if i dun get attached in poly at all and so doesnt he(has to count one year after his jc life also),i'll ask him if he ever liked me,only ten will be be able to decide wat to do.

neway today BB didnt come school and i was so bored,couldnt really concentrate(sorry BB) becoz the guy tat sat beside me couldnt stop yaking and yaking..i tried my best and even told him to shut up,but he didnt quite get it.so BB now u noe why i need to seat beside u! haha no lah,its my fault i need to have more will power!stronger will power!

ok theres this guy T in my class and his situation is somewhat similar to mine.
he's quite close to this girl whom he constantly messages and was frm the same secondary school as he was.so when i ask if he likes her he said yes but is afraid of commitment.then i start thinking is that wat a also thinks...then again we have never toked abt commitment or him being afraid of it or watever so cannot be.ten i ask if he knows if she likes him he says he thinks so.see similar to me rite!their abiguous relationship..i hate it.
then today,he asks me to follow him to the tennis court to check out the girls..i try not to judge and say too much since i hardly know this guy,but i'm thinking would a do such things as well..most prob.i've told P be4,its much easier for guys to find girls in the same institute coz u spent so much time together that the feeling just grow,thus i noe my promise above will never be accomplised coz i now a will find someone.after all guys are guys,they're too lazy to keep a relationship that needs alot of work.they rather go for something easier.

A 's sick today,and so i was messaging him,he has ever told me abt this girl phoebe,whom he knows likes him and the whole class is trying their best to fixed them up and thus makes my point above stronger that he'll get someone.so yeah i was mess him asking if he's all rite and all and suddenly he tells me that the phobe girl messaged him asking if he's alrite so i swollowed my jealousy and replied with this"so u happy lah,haha"haha my ass!! and his reply was no lah just surprised..i dunno wat to make out of that but yeah..i dun wat to assume..bt wtf did he have to tell me??i dun want to noe asshole!

neway h is sick,BB is sick,a is sick! i dun want to be sick!! its the worst feeling ever! PLs do get well ppl,and let me know if i can help.

Ps:hui lin,u noe i'll never choose him over u!!are u crazy! i love u honey and tats final and first!so always remember that and yes i have promised myself this along time ago,my family first,friends second,bf third,he will have to get along with them to get along with me,FULL STOP!

PPs: ppl i want to plan a malaysia trip this year,anywhere is malaysia,interested parties let me know,coz i want to start planning,and oh yes,anyone can comment now!

PPPs: i will make sure a is not in my next post.sorry ppl.i noe its annoying..

crap.

i toked to him last nite!!woopppeeyyyy!!! all nite last nite i looked forward to his call.when it came i sounded like a girl who went to disneyland or an astronaunt who reached mars/moon or watever that makes them extremely fucking happy.

i know i've been toking abt him very much lately,tats coz i think of him more now.

neway o to other things,there was this assignment that i had to do online but as usual i couldnt find it so after asking my friend and finding it out exactly and all,i decided to check it out.when i went it,i was told tat i only had 1hr to finish and bla bla,i quickly went out coz i freaked coz i haven studies yet and now i cant get acess to it anymore.i am so screwed!!

Ps:BB,thanks for taking care of me in class,really appreciate your help so far!and yes i'm getting used to your freakyness! haha.

Pps:when are we going out next girls??